2 + 2 + 2 = 7 (Jokes)
- Thread starter MikeD
- Start date
Three members of the paparazzi are recovering after exposing each other to covid-19 while attempting to take clandestine shots of celebrities, in their mansions.
A sneeze exposed the competing newshounds, and they were confronted by angry homeowner owner, Carlos "Chuck" Norris.
All members of the press will recover from their physical injuries, but the corona virus is not expected to survive its contact with Mr. Norris.
A sneeze exposed the competing newshounds, and they were confronted by angry homeowner owner, Carlos "Chuck" Norris.
All members of the press will recover from their physical injuries, but the corona virus is not expected to survive its contact with Mr. Norris.
WNC, I love a good one liner. Concise and to the point.
There was a Great Dog Convention.
They come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
and some came in cars.
Y'know, before they could enter,
or even take a look,
they had to take their asshole off,
and hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
(every mother, pup, and sire),
An old dog hollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
and nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the very nearest asshole,
off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
a dog will drop a bone,
to sniff another dog's asshole,
to see if it's his own.
They come from near and far.
Some came on bicycles,
and some came in cars.
Y'know, before they could enter,
or even take a look,
they had to take their asshole off,
and hang it on a hook.
But before they even got seated,
(every mother, pup, and sire),
An old dog hollered from the back,
"Run for your life. It's a FIRE!"
The crowd of dogs began to panic,
and nobody stopped to look.
They grabbed the very nearest asshole,
off the very nearest hook.
And this is why, even today,
a dog will drop a bone,
to sniff another dog's asshole,
to see if it's his own.
That is too funny. Now I will have an answer next time someone asks why ?
FL woman stops alligator attack with handgun
A 46 year old Florida woman stoped an alligator attack using a small .22 caliber Ruger pistol. Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex -husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger .22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!”
A 46 year old Florida woman stoped an alligator attack using a small .22 caliber Ruger pistol. Another good reason to have a concealed weapons permit. This is a story of self-control and marksmanship by a brave, cool-headed woman with a small pistol against a fierce predator.
Here's her story in her own words: "While walking along the edge of a pond just outside my house in the Villages discussing a property settlement with my soon-to-be ex -husband, and other divorce issues, we were surprised by a huge 12-ft alligator which suddenly emerged from the murky water. It began charging us with its large jaws wide open. She must have been protecting her nest because she was extremely aggressive.
"If I had not had my little Ruger .22 caliber pistol with me, I would not be here today! Just one shot to my estranged husband's knee cap was all it took. The gator got him easily, and I was able to escape by just walking away at a brisk pace. The amount I saved in lawyer's fees was really incredible and his life insurance was also a big bonus!”
hombre243
.30-06
I gotta have this one for my own. THANK YOU!
Oh my, now that right there is funny.
Rodburner
20g
Lol..
Yeah by the cows!
God calls Satan in Hell...
"Hey, I think we misplaced an engineer and he ended up in Hell."
"Yeah, Carl. Been doing a wonderful job. We finally got an AC system up and running and the heaters are fixed. He even designed an auto-poker for the pitchfork teams."
"Send him back here, he belongs in Heaven."
"Yeah, no."
"I will sue you for breaking contractual obligations."
"And where exactly are you going to find any lawyers...?
"Hey, I think we misplaced an engineer and he ended up in Hell."
"Yeah, Carl. Been doing a wonderful job. We finally got an AC system up and running and the heaters are fixed. He even designed an auto-poker for the pitchfork teams."
"Send him back here, he belongs in Heaven."
"Yeah, no."
"I will sue you for breaking contractual obligations."
"And where exactly are you going to find any lawyers...?