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2 + 2 + 2 = 7 (Jokes)

Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: Goodl one Ripjack. Here's a Clinton joke I modernized.

BHO and the secret service take a jog 3 times per week for exercise. One day they round a corner and pass a hooker who calls out "hey Mr. President, $20 bucks for you!"

BHO chuckles, looks at the portable teleprompter on the one guys back and answers "I only have $10"

Calling out a price and his same response becomes a regular thing over the next 2 weeks. One day Michelle announces that it would be a good photo op for the kiddies if she jogged along. As they approach the corner he suddenly remembers the hooker. He panics wondering if he could blame Bush if Michelle is mad. They round the corner and the hooker calls out "Hey Mr. President, now you see what $10 will get you!"
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

This morning I lucked out and was able to buy several cases of ammo for my three pistols. On the way home I stopped at the gas station and this drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.

She looked at the ammo in the back of my car and said in a very sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, big boy. Would you be interested in a trading sex for ammo?"

I thought it over for a few seconds and responded, "Well, what kind of ammo have you got to trade?"

Man, what a guy's gotta do to now-a-days to get more ammo!
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Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

older women





SHE WALKED UP AND TIED HER OLD MULE TO THE HITCH RAIL. AS SHE
STOOD THERE, BRUSHING SOME OF THE DUST FROM HER FACE AND CLOTHES........ A
YOUNG GUNSLINGER STEPPED OUT OF THE SALOON.... WITH A GUN IN ONE HAND AND
BOTTLE OF WHISKEY IN THE OTHER.


The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey
Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"


THE OLD WOMAN LOOKED UP AT THE GUNSLINGER AND SAID, "NO, I NEVER DID
DANCE... NEVER REALLY WANTED TO."


A CROWD HAD GATHERED AS THE GUNSLINGER GRINNED AND SAID, "WELL, YOU
OLD BAG, YOU'RE GONNA DANCE NOW," AND STARTED SHOOTING AT THE OLD
WOMAN'S FEET.


THE OLD WOMAN PROSPECTOR - NOT WANTING TO GET HER TOE BLOWN OFF -
STARTED HOPPING AROUND. EVERYBODY WAS LAUGHING.


WHEN HIS LAST BULLET HAD BEEN FIRED, THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER, STILL
LAUGHING, HOLSTERED HIS GUN AND TURNED AROUND TO GO BACK INTO THE SALOON.


THE OLD WOMAN TURNED TO HER PACK MULE, PULLED OUT A DOUBLE-BARRELED
SHOTGUN, AND COCKED BOTH HAMMERS.


THE LOUD CLICKS CARRIED CLEARLY THROUGH THE DESERT AIR. THE CROWD
STOPPED LAUGHING IMMEDIATELY.


THE YOUNG GUNSLINGER HEARD THE SOUNDS TOO, AND HE TURNED AROUND VERY
SLOWLY. THE SILENCE WAS ALMOST DEAFENING.


THE CROWD WATCHED AS THE YOUNG GUNMAN STARED AT THE OLD WOMAN AND THE
LARGE GAPING HOLES OF THOSE TWIN BARRELS.


THE BARRELS OF THE SHOTGUN NEVER WAVERED IN THE OLD WOMAN'S HANDS, AS
SHE QUIETLY SAID, "SON, HAVE YOU EVER LICKED A MULE'S BUTT?"
THE GUNSLINGER SWALLOWED HARD AND SAID, "NO MAM... BUT... I'VE
ALWAYS WANTED TO."


THERE ARE A FEW LESSONS FOR US ALL HERE:


1 - NEVER BE ARROGANT.
2 - Don't waste ammunition.
3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.
4 - Always, always make sure you know who
has the power.
5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid…


I JUST LOVE A STORY WITH A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?


=
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

What's the difference between the Obama Regime and the Ayatollah Regime?









4 letters
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

McCain and Obama entered a chocolate store. As they were busy looking, Obama stole 3 chocolate bars.

As they left the store, Obama said to McCain, "Man I'm the best thief, I stole 3 chocolate bars and no one saw me. You can't beat that."

McCain replied: "You want to see something better? Let's go back to the shop and I'll show you real stealing."

So they went to the counter and McCain said to the shopkeeper, "Do you want to see magic?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Yes."
McCain said, "Give me one chocolate bar."
The shopkeeper gave him one, and he ate it.
McCain asked for a second bar, and he ate that as well. He asked for the third, and finished that one too.

The shopkeeper asked: "But where's the magic?"

McCain replied: "Check in my friend's pocket, and you'll find all three bars of chocolate."
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

Participating in a gun buy back because you believe that the criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you believe that the neighbors have too many kids.
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Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

Thanks MikeD. I needed a laugh...it's been a long day. :lol:
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

MikeD said:
Participating in a gun buy back because you believe that the criminals have too many guns is like having yourself castrated because you believe that the neighbors have too many kids.
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these idiots by me are having a buy back,,,,,100. for a pistol,,,,,400 for an assault rifle. does that mean i can paint an old stevens .22 black and cash in? unreal,next week you'll see big photo opp.all the bs politicians holding some broken pistols some gang banger cashed in on.
 

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Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

You should go down there and buy them from the sheeple before they get in the door....
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

ripjack13 said:
You should go down there and buy them from the sheeple before they get in the door....
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i know a few LEO that beat me to it. :)
 
Re: 2 + 2 + 2 = 7

Since sex with 4 people is called a foursome;
and sex with 3 people is called a threesome;
and sex with 2 people is a twosome;

Now I understand why they call you handsome!
 
Mississippi declares war on Obama

*President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang."Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said. "This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's
Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell y'all that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"*

*"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"*

*"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Bubba, my next-door-neighbor Cooter and brother Gerald, and the whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.*

*Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."*

*"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya back!"* *Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"*

*"And what equipment would that be Jimmy Boy?" Barack asked.**"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."*

*President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since
we last spoke."*

*"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."*

*Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."*

*"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

“Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."*
 
Two Bear Hunters...

Two hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT" so they headed for home.

...on the way back they encountered a WATCH FOR FALLING ROCKS sign. After a good bit the passenger turns to the driver and says "I can give it 10 more minutes, then I really have to get going!" :D
 
Re: Two Bear Hunters...

Good thing it didn't say "Do Not Pass" LOL
 
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