This reminds me of the old story about the American pilot who was having trouble understanding the radio instructions from the tower in Berlin.
When the air traffic controller insulted him for having so much trouble, he replied that the last time he had flown over Berlin it was in a B17, at night, and they didn't actually land.
And the one about the ship that gets the call to alter course.. they say no, YOU alter course... after a bit of back and forth, the caller says "i'm a lighthouse, your choice..."