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Lost my best friend today

DaveinCT

DaveinCT

20g
My Dad, been battling congestive heart failure for a while and has been in and out of the hospital, nursing homes starting back last june. We where able to get him home from September to early February with installing new ramps, stair lifts, specialty chairs and all.

He ended up back in the hospital a month or so ago and spent a couple days and then they sent him back to the nursing home. His final battle started Monday when the nursing home sent him to the hospital due to pneumonia. He required a blood transfusion and by tuesday tested positive for the nasty hospital born staff infection.

Being 83 years old with congestive heart failure and lungs and respiratory system in generally poor shape my Mom and I where given the tough decision of a tracheotomy and respirator or Comfort care which is a morphine drip. We decided he'd suffered enough and gave the hospital the right for comfort care (My Dad had a living will and did not want to live on life support) and they started that this morning while I was there. Within 3 hours of the morphine and seeing him finally rest in peace was a huge relief he passed away.

Hardest last few days of my life but somehow you become strong and get busy helping Mom who is in real rough shape right now.

My Son and I plan on getting a couple hours range time tomorrow for some therapy. He's taking it rather hard an I wanna try and get his mind off it for a little while.

God Bless you guys and Love them while you've got them...
 
Dave, you have my deepest sympathies. My thoughts and prayers will be with you and yours.
 
My condolences go out to you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. If there is anything we can do please let us know.
 
Thank you very much fellas, it's much appreciated.

I'm doing pretty darn good so far and my Mom is already feeling better about it realizing that he is finally in peace. My Son, he's not taking it so well, he's mad he didn't get to say goodbye and he's having trouble getting over the anger but he's dealing with it in his own way at the moment. Lots of good neighbors and family are around Mom so that's helping her alot. The services won't be until a week from this Monday due to my brothers daughter being in Ireland for Spring Break so we still a have a few more hurdles to get over.


Again, thank you guys with all my heart, I really appreciate it..
 
Dave,

My most sincere condolences Sir. I wish you and your family all the best and my family's prayers are with you through these difficult times. Hang in there buddy.
 
LAZY EYED SNIPER said:
Dave,

My most sincere condolences Sir. I wish you and your family all the best and my family's prayers are with you through these difficult times. Hang in there buddy.
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Thanks LAZY, it's been two weeks today and it's still tough. I miss him like non other and knowing and accepting he is gone is difficult but time is beginning to heal me and the rest of us.

Thanks again, LAZY I really appreciate it..
 
hi dave.
first off my condolences to you and your family.
it does get easier, but like you said it takes time.

i lost my dad in 89 to cancer. he was only 46. i watch him go downhill from march to december..and on the 22nd he died. i went off the wall. i wanted nothing to do with control and rules. i was very very angry at everyone and every thing. needless to say i got into lots of stupid trouble. i had to move out of state. because i needed a fresh start and new "friends"
thank god i met good friends in cali. i would never have gotten this far. they took me to the desert and let me shoot stuff.

all day long.

it was the best feeling i ever felt. rifles were cool, then i tried a couple handguns, and that was exciting....but then they let me shoot a shotgun.

holy shitake mushrooms!! that was the best!
kaBOOM!!!

wow. that made me feel so much better. we would take junk that we collected through out the year and bring it all on a trailer to the desert. and set it up....couches were not exciting....but tvs and computer monitors were spectacular to see go boom. of course we cleaned up, because we wanted to come back again and have a clean fresh start. i have since moved,and i miss my dad all the time..there are times i sure could use his advice... but i have no dad to talk with and ask what he would do...

my wife recently got back in contact with her dad. he lives in new mexico. when she was a little girl he left. and hasn't talked with her since. he's 67 now. we were talking about it, and didn't know if she wanted to talk to him. i told her this....
"you have a second chance to talk with your dad...i do not."
just call him up and lets hear his side. she did. and they have been in contact with each other weekly since then.

i have no idea why i just said all this. but since i typed all this... i'll not delete it.

i'm in ct as well...maybe we could get together and shoot some stuff up!!
a kind of therapy group.
 
Thanks rip, Where are you in CT? I'm in South Windsor and belong to The Hartford Gun Club..


Appreciate the condolence and offer to shoot together. I have a nice arsenal to play with with my newest toy being an Armalite AR10 and lovin it. Just got back from pushing a few hundred through it as well as my SCAR and Colt M4 Carbine..
 
I lost my dad about 13 years ago. He was 47. I never knew him as a friend. He left when I was a baby. I got to know him, and we became close the last few years of his life, but never developed that kind of "friend" relationship. Glad for the time I knew him though.

You remain in in our thoughts and prayers Dave.
 
Rossignol said:
I lost my dad about 13 years ago. He was 47. I never knew him as a friend. He left when I was a baby. I got to know him, and we became close the last few years of his life, but never developed that kind of "friend" relationship. Glad for the time I knew him though.

You remain in in our thoughts and prayers Dave.
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Thanks, Brad and vidsports I appreciate your thoughts very much. Even though it's been over two weeks now I still have my moments but I find peace in knowing I was at his side for his last rights and made sure he didn't suffer any more than he did.

Also, Brad I'm sorry to hear you didn't have the figure I had to grow up with and even though there is pain in his lose I wouldn't change a thing.


God bless all of you and your loved ones..
 
hi dave...just checkin in on ya...hope you are doing well.
 
I hope you all are doing well. Deepest sympathy for each of you that told your Story. My mom was 52 when she died. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer and died 10 months later. It's hard but somehow you find the strength to continue living. It's been just under 3 years and she never got to meet baby boy #3 or baby boy #4. It makes me want to be the best mom ...and if that means liking sports, guns, cars, and hunting...then I'm in....whatever it takes to be involved in all 4 of my boys' lives!
 
My dad passed in 1997, from cancer, at the age of 75. His last few months were terrible, and very hard on my mom. Hospice helped, a lot. He died at home, with mom by his side. He and I shared many common interests, including being veterans and sports, and communicated frequently; yet, there was much left unsaid between us-- his generation was not big on expressing feelings, and I didn't press him on some contentious issues out of respect. I have no regrets-- things were what they were. I knew he loved me without him having to say the words. On the other hand, I never end a conversation with my sons without telling them I love them. Generational difference, I guess.

DaveinCT, your dad's legacy lives on in you. Talk with your son about your dad, and he will understand. Put things in persepctive when you do-- it will help your son understand and appreciate the relationship between you and your dad. As much as I loved my dad, he was not much of a grandfather to my sons. I hope it was different for you and your son.

Not meant to sound like advice -- it's just that I have travelled this road myself, and 14 years later the memories are still fresh. My condolences, friend. Hug your son, every day if you can. None of us can outrace Father Time.
 
My sincere condolences to you and your family Dave...

I was lucky to have my father around for 77 years...and he loved being a grandpa to my daughter and my sisters two kids. To this day, nobody sits at the head of the table at family gatherings...the chair remains empty in his honor.
 
My wifes father died last night in his sleep. He was a Vietnam Vet. Lived in New Mexico, and a biker to the bone.
Chele got word from his friend here in CT a few years ago from him saying he'd like to meet her. He had been out of her life since she was a teen, and her mom said he wanted nothing to do with her. Which was a lie, come to find out her mom wanted nothing to do with him so she booted him out and told him Chele wanted to never see him again. Well, she didn't know that then, but she does now. She was undecided on talking to him again cuz of the past bs...but I told her, " You have something I was never givin, A second chance to talk to your Dad. If you two talk and decide not to again, then fine, I stand by that decision, but if you do decide to talk, and get along , great!" so she did, and they hit it off. They found out the other side of the story and it's been great ever since.
He came up 2 years ago in the winter time to visit, It was a great week. We learned so much about our past. He was in the same classes as my dad in high school! Surely they must have passed in the halls or something, but you know clicks...he was a biker and my dad was a swimmer, so they didnt hang out, but he knew of my dad...
Anyhow, while he was here he told us he has COPD from the war. He used to eat lunch on the barrels of agent orange, and thought nothing of it.
He wants to be cremated and have the ashes put in his biker buddies gas tanks, so he can go for one last ride.
Looks like we'll be going to New Mexico for his funeral soon. At least She talked to him again.
Tell the ones you love and see everyday, just how much they mean to you. You might not get a second chance.
 
Ripjack, you and Mrs. Ripjack have my prayers and condolences. That's great that she was able to reconnect to him. My father in law killed himself 10 months after we got married and I know my wife would give almost anything to have another day with him.

His request for his ashes is sure different but if that's what he wanted then I say it's a cool idea. If you need anything don't hesitate to ask.
 
ripjack13 said:
but I told her, " You have something I was never givin, A second chance to talk to your Dad. If you two talk and decide not to again, then fine, I stand by that decision, but if you do decide to talk, and get along , great!" so she did, and they hit it off. They found out the other side of the story and it's been great ever since.
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This is why you’re a good man through and through......glad she got to make contact was able to have happy and positive thoughts of her dad before he left this world
 
stay strong for her. my prayers and thoughts for your family.
 
I feel your pain and share your loss; lost my Pop at 94, a tough strong bugger and he was my hero and my best friend. It won't get easier but you will get better at coping with the loss. When negative thoughts and emotions seep into your soul, remind yourself of what his wishes were and what he would want for you and yours. That has given me strengh and comfort. My thought are with you and your family.


Sent from my SGH-I747M
 
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