Wilcoe: It's great to hear from another .410 owner. My prior experience with the .410 was with a folding single shot, and I was impressed with the performance of the .410, prompting me to finally pick up a 500E. I believe the .410 is absolutely a good choice for HD, if that's what someone is able to use. I don't mean just women and girls: any of us could suffer an injury that makes recoil a problem for us. I have a new 500E and have just received an 18.5" Cylinder barrel also. It makes the light little gun much handier, and I can't wait to try it out!
My wife is petite and recoil shy, so the 500E may be the only shotgun she can handle and fire. She found my 870 in 20ga. heavy and difficult (older 870 on the 12ga receiver), and the recoil was too much.
I suggest keeping it as simple as possible, which will also mean a lighter, quicker shotgun. One wonderful thing about the Taurus Judge (although I'm not interested in one, myself) is that there's now a better array of defensive .410 ammo available. I like 2-1/2", because I get one more round in the magazine tube.
I think I'd start with some of the buck rounds with 3 000 buckshot (.36 caliber) pellets in a shell. More pellets generally means more recoil. You may also wish to try the 2-1/2" Brenneke slugs in your new Cylinder barrel.
I agree with those who say the best accessory is lots of practice ammo. Unfortunately, .410 factory birdshot's expensive, but it's also fairly cheap to load your own .410 shells. I have yet to get my wife out to the range with the .410, but I hope to introduce her to the .410 via some 2-1/2" birdshot rounds.
Regards,
Dirty Bob