I've decided that I wanted to do something a little different. Any chance I get a reason to speak of my mom, I usually take it, so she is what I want my entry to be about.
Instead of talking about how wonderful she was; because she really was
Instead of talking about the dreaded word cancer; because it just makes me angry. Instead of pouring out all of my awesome memories growing up; because I feel like I had the best childhood anyone could ask for. Instead of telling you that she made me the best mother I can be; and of course it's because she was in fact the best mom on the planet
. Instead of talking about the fact that she isn't here to see my kids grow up; because that hurts me to think about it......
Instead of all of those things, I decided to share something a little more personal. When we were told my mom only had 3 weeks to live (which was a week after her 52nd Birthday), we had to tell her the news. She decided to come home instead of stay in the hospital. So during the last couple of weeks, I had what I guess you would call a "journal" and I wrote down things that she said because I never wanted to forget the last few weeks with her. She wasn't always completely consious so to speak, as the cancer was taking over her brain, and her body was preparing to shut down one organ at a time, so these quotes were when she'd finally say something. So anyway, here is "
Things my Mom said during her last days on Earth"
"Wow, it's beautiful" and I asked, what's beautiful? and she said "it's just beautiful".
To my dad.. "I love you forever, forever, forever, forever".
"I love you Michelle". <----- that's me (big smile on my face, lol)
The pastor asked her.."have you been talking to god?" and she said "Oh ya" and he asked..."how's that been going?", and she said "Pretty good".
"It 's really far away"
"The baby keeps crying"....... There were no children around
"Who is that?" *pointing towards the middle of the room*...no one was there
To my twin sister "you are so special to me".
"I love that little guy"....referring to my 2nd son, Hudsen...the only one of my boys that she got to see the day he was born and spend the most time with as an infant.
"Why is god doing this to me? Was I a bad person"
"I'm afraid"
My dad asked her...will you be my angel, she said "yes", and he said, you promise? and she said "I promise"
"I want to go shopping"
"Wow, that vacation in Hawaii was soooo nice" ...my dad and her were never able to go on vacation together
"I need to clean the house"
"Okay" *sigh*...referring to the fact that it is okay to 'go'.
"How's dad holding up?" She's always more concerned for others than herself.
*reaching her hand out* toward someone that wasnt there.
"ahhh that was so good" reffering to the sip of Diet Pepsi she finally drank
"Dont you worry, I'll be okay."
"I will continue to fight, it takes alot more to get your mother down", in reply to the news that there is nothing else they can do for her.
"I wanna go home"... she said this twice in the last week.
"You're my lobster"...to my dad, it's their little joke about being lobsters (mates for life).
"Do you promise to take care of Dad?" to me, in which it was my promise to her and I've always followed thru with that promise.
"Will you play my song?" That was referring to the me, because for the previous Mother's Day I learned to play piano and had a piano brought to my house to play it for her. I played "The wind beneath my wings" which was one of her favorite songs. To this day, I don't know any other song on the piano because I only learned the one song just for her.
*smiles and giggles* even when nobody is talking to her or standing near her
"He's a good man" referring to my Father...her husband of 31 years.
It was very hard for me to choose just one thing to write about when it's of my mom, but I chose this because it's different and meaningful. I am very glad I wrote these things down and will always have them to look back on.
Here is our official First family photo of 4, and our last family photo of 5 with my mom in it. Look at my dads shoulder..... dust particle? Orb? lol, we like to think it was something of a higher power
http://www.flickr.com/photos/46635867@N07/6266787454/
**I'm grateful to win any item in the contest. The pocket knife would be kind of cool, cause I can never find my husband's when I need it!
Just kidding! Lets make it a week for entries, and results by the following weekend! 
