I just got back from Walmart, buying a large bag of
Purina dog chow for my wonder dog Maggie, when the
woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (duh!!)
So because I'm retired and have little to do, on
impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. I told her
I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I
probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital the last time, but
that I'd lost 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care ward.
I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet
and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with
Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry.
The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and
I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive
care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped
to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.