Fellas, and Mrs. RipJack.
Again, I am very grateful for each of you, for your care and thoughts and prayers.
Oli mentioned above, we had talked in the Tac Dog Thread about how we each, at this time in our lives and havin always had or been around dogs, felt as though we finally felt as if we actually had our very own dog! Man, what a feelin... Jenny and i have had dogs our entire married lives, goin on 16 years now. Ivy was (is I hope) my dog and companion. I'm heartbroken. I keep lookin for her and she isnt there. Max too, though Ally was gonna be handlin him in the field. Or we were, a joint effort.
I'm strugglin with the animosity towards almost everything. I try and stay busy. Shootin helps. Watch a movie at night till I'm tired enough to pass out. I pray, I put it all in prayer cuz I've not ever had a reason not to trust in and have faith in the Lord my God. Problem here is I dont want to forgive, even as i have been forgiven much. In fact its why I have that tattood on my arm. "Forgiven" in red letters. Its there to remind me. It reminds me of what I've gone through and how I've been forgiven, and how I need to forgive... but I'm not dealin with it gracefully. I'm havin a hard time.
I really dont understand how... How an outsider to our situation can make a claim against us and their word and opinions carry more weight than our own. They say they have the proof of our neglect. Ok, they have a lean huntin dog with fleas that I got as an overweight dog that wasnt gettin much exercise where he was. I'm feedin him more than what he was gettin and a higher quality food but gave him the line to run durin the day, and he was loosin weight. And Ivy. Atrophied from injury but on the mend.
I dont know how many more ways I can say it to them. They tell me this is what the court system is for. I told them if we're innocent until proven guilty then to give our dogs back until they prove we did what they said we did. He said he couldnt and wouldnt do that as he disagrees with our assesment that we can responsibly and reasonably provide for our dogs.
Not knowing. Waiting. That I think is what makes this so difficult for me. I cant move ahead without knowin whats goin on. And if they keep our dogs, how am I supposed to forgive the rat who called the police and had an incredible and integral part of our family taken from us? You see, the huntin dogs, were used for huntin. Ally and I hunted together. It isnt just about the dogs, its also about the time I spent with Allison. That too was taken away. She and I trained and worked with Ivy, I couldnt have had Ivy ready without her. And Ivy taught us about huntin too. Point is, Allison and I spent alot of time together and alot of time together with Ivy. We cant get a pup and hunt this season. That cant be replaced. If Ivy couldnt hunt, Max was the backup.
Ally and I will still hang out and shoot. Heck, maybe just walk the feilds and try and flush birds on our own. I really dunno right now.
What I do know, bein able to talk it out here is helpful and I cant thank you all enough.